beautiful waste of time

This is a modified flag structure that was prompted by a book called Einstein’s Dreams. (Read it if you haven’t, it’s lovely, I’ve been obsessed ever since.) I made this book thinking about the notion of two different kinds of time going on at the same time in parallel but never touching. Th author makes a beautiful point to say that these two times can exist but never meet. A person could live in either time but never both, and should the two times meet, that would be in his words “desperation.” “Each time is true but the truths are not the same.” I just loved this idea and it got me to thinking about what might happen if a person lived in one time but the person they loved lived in the other. The story for this book came out of that idea.

I made the long kozo paper strips (thanks to Aimee Lee + her gift of the leftover pulp) to be indicative of what the author might call body time; fluid, flowing, unruly. The short, straight, defined pieces represent the patterned rhythm of mechanical time. The top three rows of flags on every page are my story, and the bottom three flags are taken directly from the book.

I made the cover and back images of the flags by printing collographs on the Vandercook, and the title of this guy is there are two times for everything or [we'll meet along the way.]

This is the fifth book from the recap of the first year at Mills series…If you missed the others, just scroll on back, or click here, here, here & here.

This book was the first one I made at Mills. It was made right around John Cage’s 100th birthday. We each got assigned a random page from the dictionary the same letter as our first name. Then, we had to use that page somewhere in the book. We also had to think about John Cage and his ideas around creating work using chance operations. Very simply put chance operations is about trying to remove one’s intention from the work, leaving it up to chance through various exercises.

This book is a simple accordion with coin envelopes as pages. Each envelope is filled with cut up words from a lecture Cage gave in 1959 called  Lecture on Nothing. The name of the book is called echo, which was a word on the dictionary page I was given. I thought it was a great word to think about nothing with and also John Cage. If you aren’t into John Cage already, I would suggest getting to know him, he’s pretty crush worthy.

This book was a project I did for a graduate poetry workshop with Stephanie Young and 11 other amazing poets. For anyone who hasn’t ever been a workshop type situation, it’s an intense space sometimes. It’s the place you go to workshop and talk about your writing every week with people in what is supposed to be a safe place. Writing in this kind of formal capacity is new for me in that the visual world has been the one I have been immersed in all my life. Workshops like this have been an amazing part of this new process of me embracing writer as part of my life’s work.

The purpose of making this book was an attempt to relinquish control of sequence and “story” and to initiate a space to encourage participation by the reader. I wrote the content over the course of the 2 semesters in workshop. It is bound on both sides, some pages are opaque, some are translucent and some are in the middle. You can read this book in many orders, getting different experience with each reading.  At least i hope so.

The title of this one is called some beginnings + some endings which was suggested by one of my friends in the class BR. I liked it so much it stuck because i loved this idea of having all the beginnings and all the endings but the middle being up for grabs. This is a tough one to photograph because the whole point is in the movement, the transparency and the participation. Some things aren’t meant for the screen but alas, I try…Hope you like.

This first page has the beginning of every poem and the ending of every poem all put together to become a whole new piece on its own.

The second book made this semester was a structure invented and taught by our professor, Julie. It was fun because we started off by making a visual timeline based on any specific period of time in our lives, and we didn’t know what we were going to use it for. It was basically a long strip of art we created that we then went back and cut into panels to put into this structure. I chose the week long road trip I took with NP to move out here in August. The back panels could be anything to support the visual depiction of time. The title of this book is called HERE, there will be gains or HOME, a backwards kind of road trip.

Full disclosure: any faithful readers might have noticed by now I am not a blogger. Posting every 8 or so months is probably not good practice by industry standards. Alas one must be honest and I just don’t have it in me to do anything daily, well except make things and eat. But I do know what I am: a maker and someone who loves to documents things so this is what I can offer.

The update goes like this: It’s been 9 months since I moved to the west coast, which really only means it’s been 9 months of being immersed in school which means I am finished my first year of a dual graduate program in book art and creative writing. This and a few following posts are what I have to show for it, at least tangibly. Six books. All hand made, all written, photographed, or drawn by me (unless otherwise noted). The first one, a storage book (structure invented by Hedi Kyle) called Shed or what falls away [or gets left behind], is shown below. It’s about a eucalyptus tree or it’s a love story or usually in my case, it’s one in the same. Happy summer y’all.

Happy autumn y’all. The holidays are almost upon us and I don’t know about you but I haven’t taken the time to really digest all of summer and early fall yet. But alas, time marches, so I am going to recap the past three months here on the left coast while giving thanks to the abundance of new crushes that have enriched my life. The daily wonders, big & small, that have made me smile on what otherwise might have been less than stellar days. In short, the people, places and things that inspire. So without further ado, here are the things I have fallen utterly and irrevocably in love with, in no particular order:

fog
brown sugar kitchen
being able to wear all your favorite items of clothing on the same day — even if they are sandals, corduroys, big scarves, windbreakers and t-shirts (weather be crazy out here)
rebecca solnit
ben
the color blue
vandercook presses
lemon zinger tea (an old steady resurfaces)
the cursive typeface that makes up the “cal” logo
robert wilson
kaci (what a gift)
sweet onion potato chips
inner + outer richmond san francisco
maggie nelson
betsy + berkeley california
living surrounded by water
robert bringhurst’s voice (super swoon)
jen + chris (old friends are like home)
richmond california
harryette mullen
daily email notes from the universe
nami yamamoto
the smell of eucalyptus trees
the abundance of old typography + signage in oakland
the nice lady who owns the coffee shop across the street from my house
john cage
sun yellow kitchen tables
julie chen’s studio
my new green scarf
postcards
faith + isabel + sarah (new friends are kinda nice)
the voice
myung mi kim
nishat (connecting folks from a whole state away)
the mills college library
people who love trees
waiting for the sun to set like its my job
the 2 security guys at the front gate of mills
rachael yamagata + elle varner + ella fitzgerald
salvage yards
+ still, just the biggest crush on my east coast family (for pep talks, skype sessions, for keeping in touch, care packages, updates + love. i miss you every day.) with a special shoutout to kate… (for still texting me awake and texting me to sleep no matter the time difference or what coast we happen to be on… oh, + for still being concerned about my fashion sense 3,000 miles away, bless you)

Also, here are some excerpts from the “things I can get behind in the bay area” list:

poached eggs (there are a lot of these everywhere. i don’t mind)

the overabundance of affordable avocados. again no complaint here from me

the way people come out for a sunset here like it’s an important appointment or a national pastime. it’s like we all have a date out here with the sun at the end of the day… (well done californians, you know what’s important.)

kids seem to smile easier here. i wish i could bottle that up and send a little of that back east. its nice to see.

happy crushsgiving y’all.
xo

There are a few new books about books out in the world that you just might be interested in if you’re into that sort of thing. The first one is called 1,000 Artists’ Books: Exploring the Book as Art by Sandra Salamony. I have two pieces in this book (this is one) as well as a few really good friends, not to mention one of my professors. It’s a beautiful collection of forms. Check it out, buy it here.

This other sweet book came out earlier this year. It’s called Thread Loves Paper by Emily Marks. The author will be in good old Berkeley at Mrs. Dalloway’s bookstore on College Ave. on Jan. 19th at 4 pm if any of you live in the area. One of my caterpillar journals was included in this edition. You can buy the book through Emily’s website

Change has been my constant companion the past few months. I’ve moved across the country. Left behind are the people I love in a city that is also equally missed. I am no longer a teacher. I am a student again. Everything and every day is brand new. There are no routines in this new life yet, everything is washed clean.

Two months ago though I was still in the throws of sorting and packing, putting what soon would be referred to as my other life into boxes and then into an even larger box called storage. Having gone through this process countless times before, at least 5 times in Philadelphia alone, I had a system for the initial sort, organize and pack, putting things into groups and then packing all like things together. This kind of system helps when one is a borderline hoarder and has a LOT of everything like myself. By the time I got to the special wonders portion of my life’s contents, I really had to employ the grouping method on multiple tables. Little by little the house became an impromptu gallery of eccentric collections of…? Stuff? I guess we’ll be kind and just call it stuff.

It’s funny what you learn about yourself through the objects that you collect when you don’t even realize you are collecting them. These little subconscious patterns, the things we lean towards, what we crave to have near us. Innate attractions? Coincidence? Muscle memory? Whatever it is can’t really be denied when it’s looking back at you in multiples on your coffee table. This is one of the collections discovered during one of those faithful days of sorting. Piles of rocks, stones, a few shells & pods, some decades old, accompanied by small notes with locations and dates. Tiny worlds, complete documents of a lifetime of walking along shorelines.

I guess I’ve been collecting rocks by the water’s edge for some time now. I know I’ve been doing it in my head for even longer than the evidence would support. I guess I’ve been trying to stay close to the thought of it when I wasn’t nearby. I am close to water on all sides now, all the time, we’ll see how it goes. I wonder if I’ll still be picking up rocks. The land ends, all the edges bleed out into blue and there is nowhere else to go. I live in California now. We’ll see how it goes.

Good morning, happy Friday to all. These crush posts are usually about people I love and admire from afar: musicians, trees, songs, painters, cheese, I know, I know, my love knows no bounds. However, today I am compelled to write about a real person, someone a little closer to home. All of my crush admiration this month without a doubt goes to Jenny Deller and her amazing film Future Weather.

I can’t remember exactly how Jenny and I met but I know it was while working at a job we have both since left. The whole time we were working there together I never knew she was going home each night to work on this script, Future Weather, the same way I was going home to make books in my studio. We didn’t really become friends until after Jenny left the job to pursue the movie full time. Since then it’s been countless nights of shared meals, stories and talking ourselves into the amazing wondrous scariness that is our lives as working artists. But here’s the deal. The entire time I have known Jenny she has been working on this film. It’s been close to 7 years.

This Sunday my car took a load of Jenny Deller fans to Manhattan to watch the Future Weather world premiere on the last day of the Tribeca Film Festival. We got to watch it on a big screen! We got to see almost 7 years of work right before our eyes. To say this was huge would be the understatement of the year. I still get goosebumps just thinking about it.

I don’t know if y’all know anything about making movies (I didn’t before watching Jenny make this one from the sidelines.) Um, it’s hard, pretty thankless, and mostly work that has nothing to do with actual film making for really really long periods of time. The fact that any films see the light of day seem like a huge feat to me now.

But let me tell you why this movie is so great. It’s a smart, beautifully told story of a family of women simply trying to find their way. They are each layered, flawed, interesting and struggling. The characters are unsentimental, honest, and funny. Somehow this movie manages to bravely champion girls, science, and the environment quietly yet fiercely and unapologetically. This movie is good, it’s so good. I’ve seen it twice and I just want to see it again.

When you are watching someone up close working as hard as Jenny does, for as long as she has been working on this project, you can’t help but want to work harder yourself. The sheer act of not giving up after this long is in itself a lesson in patience and intent. When you are traveling roads that aren’t necessarily mapped out for you, it’s nice to have a few friends who just sort of “get it.” It’s great to look over sometimes and see a friendly face who is still fighting the good fight. When I look over I always see Jenny so I know I’ve got to keep trying too.

My friend Jenny made a movie, y’all. A really good movie. That’s an amazing thing. And I couldn’t be more happy for her.

Help Jenny and her amazing producing partner in crime Kristin Fairweather (pictured above) finish what they started and share Future Weather with the world. Give what you can now until May 9th. We’ve only got less than 5 days left on Kickstarter to raise a bunch of money, but it’s possible, anything is possible. Thanks to Jenny Deller I know that now more than ever.

Psst… There are many perks for donating to the Kickstarter Campaign but if you contribute $250 or more, you’ll get a limited edition tree book made by yours truly in honor of Lauderee’s (and my) love of trees (not to mention a ton of other goodies like posters and DVD’s, you name it)

And one last note: If you are in Santa Cruz, Nantucket or Seattle, see Future Weather at the film festivals in your awesome towns. (Support good stories!)

It’s FAB Wednesday here at roughdrAft y’all! We’ve got this great sale going on over at Fab.com today through Friday. It was really fun preparing for the sale because I used it as an opportunity to make a bunch of one-of-a-kind books. I hadn’t done that in so long, it was such a nice break from the other work. I especially love the little graffiti books. They are the size of the palm of your hands and each one of them is completely different. I made about 15 of them from all these scraps of paper I had been saving from previous jobs. They really are like tiny little paintings. I made a few more special ones here for the etsy site as well.

Lastly, a huge thank you to Siobhan Edmonds who shot all these amazing photos for the sale! Check her out at Dollface Studios.